I find that many Christians really struggle with knowing how and where to set boundaries. I would recommend a book by that name, Boundaries, which gives a great deal of detail on the topic.

 

As we close this subject, let me say that setting boundaries is not a selfish act. If it is, then something is wrong in the way boundaries are set or the reason for setting them. Jesus set boundaries in his life when here on earth. He limited his exposure to people; he limited his time with people; he limited the things he was willing to do. Certainly not because he was selfish, but because he was determined to do what the Father had sent him to do.

 

And as a result, at the end of a short three-year ministry, he could say in John 17:4, “I have brought you glory on earth by completing the work you gave me to do.” Setting reasonable, biblical boundaries is definitely a spiritual thing to do, if we do if for the right reason. And that reason is so that we can accomplish what God wants us to do and say, as Jesus did, “I have brought glory to God on earth by completing the work he gave me to do.”

 

You may have been allowing false guilt to keep you from setting reasonable boundaries. Perhaps you just feel like you ought to do what everyone wants you to do, to please everyone, and so you try. But of course you discover that you cannot, so guilt piles upon guilt. That is generally false guilt that plagues you when you don’t set reasonable boundaries for yourself and for others in your life.

 

I urge you to make boundary setting an intentional part of your daily commitment. Pray about it. Ask God to reveal the areas in your life that need boundaries, either for yourself or for others. Read the Bible and look for biblical principles concerning boundaries. Believe me, they are there and God will reveal them to you if you will seek for them with all your heart.

 

But remember, the reason for setting boundaries must be one thing only: To bring glory to God while we are here on earth. It’s not all about us and what makes life better for us. It’s about what we need to do in order to bring glory to God through our daily lives.