We need to set boundaries in two ways in our lives: Boundaries on ourselves and boundaries for others. First, let’s talk about setting personal boundaries.

We need personal boundaries in the area of physical boundaries--how much we eat, how much sleep we get, how often we exercise. We need personal boundaries for our thought life. The Bible gives us those boundaries in Philippians 4:8. It says to “think about whatever is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.” It gives us clear boundaries for our tongue in Ephesians 4:29: “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

 

There are many areas where we are responsible for setting reasonable personal boundaries based on God’s principles, and that is one thing we can definitely control. 

Now, when it comes to setting limits for others, we have less control, don’t we? All we can do is set limits on our exposure to others; on the amount of time we spend with them, or the influence we allow them to have over us. We can set limits on how we respond to their requests or demands.

 

My friend Jan Silvious puts it so well. She says when you have someone in your life to whom you have responsibilities, but they continually try to invade your boundaries and cause problems in your life, learn to feed them with a long handled spoon. Remove yourself emotionally from their sphere. Put some distance between you and them, whether it be geographical distance, mental distance or emotional distance. 

 

You know, in many cases others invade our boundaries simply because we allow them to. If we would ever draw those lines, communicate them appropriately, and stick to them, often we would discover that they will indeed honor our boundaries.