As written and presented by Mary Whelchel

PROGRAM D-6030

Our fifth and final principle is:

The 'Speak Kind Words' Principle

Here are two verses from Proverbs that tell us how important it is to guard our words carefully and speak words of kindness.

Proverbs 12:25:
An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up.

Proverbs 25:11:
A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.

'Aptly spoken' words are those which are strategically selected and gently delivered. They are 'apt,' they fit the situation perfectly. When you can find those 'apt' words, you can change an ugly environment or situation into something beautiful-like 'apples of gold in settings of silver.'

For example, suppose you had to confront a person on your job who is repeatedly late to work. Which of these two approaches would be 'aptly spoken words'?

- 'I want to point out something that is bothering me. You've been late to work a lot and it just drives me crazy. I want every person here on time every day. You're paid to be here on time, so I'll be expecting you to be on time every day from now on. I hope that is clear.'

- 'I've noticed that you have some difficulty getting to work on time. Perhaps there is some good reason for that; if so, you need to tell me so we can work it out by cutting your lunch time or having you work later each day. Is there some reason that makes it difficult for you to be here on time each day?'

It's pretty obvious that the first example would cause a defensive, angry reaction and may or may not solve the problem, while the second approach shows some concern for the individual while at the same time making it clear that tardiness cannot be tolerated. Those are 'aptly spoken words.'

So often our choice of words makes all the difference in how responsive the other person will be. Ask God to make you more and more sensitive to your words, and to help you speak words that are kind and appropriate. It will help you deal with difficult relationships.

In my Bible Study Improving Your Relationships you will learn how to apply biblical principles to your relationships between co-workers, family, friends and mates. Call the ministry at 1-800-292-1218 or click here to order your copy.

Click here to be a part of our financial support team and make a donation on our secure website.