Fran & Jesus on the Job - Overreacting
Thursday, November 11th, 2010The audio portion of this broadcast is no longer available on-line.
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Send to friendToday is not such a good day for Fran. In fact, she is at the point of tears as she comes back to her office from a business meeting with her most important client. Closing her door she plops in her chair and brushes away a tear that tries to escape. "Why did he say that to me?" she says out loud to herself.
Her friend, Louise, a fellow believer, knocks and sticks her head in. "How did your presentation go with your client?" she asks.
"Terrible, Louise," Fran replies. "That man was brutal to me-I’m telling you, brutal. I worked so hard on that promotion and he shot it down without even listening to my idea!"
"What man?" Louise asks. "You mean the president-what’s his name…"
"Yeah, that’s him. Mr. LeFevre. He was insensitive and unprofessional, to put it nicely. Believe me, Louise," Fran adds, "he was unnecessarily brutal."
"For goodness sake," Louise sympathizes. "What did he do?"
"Louise, I've worked so hard for that account and before this he liked everything I did," Fran explains. "Now, out of the blue he hits me with this response out of left field."
"What exactly did he say?" Louise asks again.
"Well, he said that I had not researched this promotion adequately and he was not comfortable going with my idea until I did my homework," Fran replies, with obvious pain in her voice.
"Oh." Louise is not quite sure what to say. "He just sent you back to do some more research. That doesn’t sound too bad."
Louise’s response doesn’t sit well with Fran. After all, when you’re having a pity party, the last thing you want is for someone to take a rational approach.
"Doesn’t sound too bad!? I had an entire report backing up my idea. I did my homework. I always do my homework. That's what's gotten me where I am; everybody knows I do the job right," Fran responds.
Louise senses that it’s time to make an exit. "Well, I hope it works out okay. I better run," she says.
Fran doesn’t like the tone of that conversation and her feelings are hurt even more. "Nobody understands me," she mumbles to herself, all the time knowing it's not true.
As she's leaving the office that afternoon, she decides to drop by her parents’ home. After all, you can depend on Mom and Dad to take your side, right? She calls her mom, picks up the kids and heads over to their house.
"Oh, Fran," her dad says as he opens the door, "I'm so glad you came by. Hi, kids, how’re you doing?"
After a little small talk, her dad says, "Is something wrong, hon?"
"Does it show that much?" Fran asks.
"Well, we know our Fran pretty well," her Dad says as he puts his arm around her.
"Oh, I had a rough meeting with my biggest client, Mr. LaFevre," Fran says. Tears start to come to her eyes, "It’s probably no big deal but he really let me have it today in front of everybody. You know that big promotion I've been working on–well, he said I didn't have sufficient research to proceed and to 'take it back to the drawing boards,' to use his words. He said there were too many unanswered questions."
Fran pauses and looks at her dad, waiting for his response, still fighting to hold back her tears. Her dad nods and says, "And…"
"And what?" Fran raises her voice. "Isn't that enough?"
"Well, I mean, is that all he said?" her dad asks.
"Don't you think that was very rude and unprofessional of him? I mean, in front of everybody." Fran says in frustration.
"Who was there?" her Dad asks.
"His assistant, Bernie, and Jim from the Art Department," Fran says.
"Uh, huh," her Dad cautiously responds. "That's not exactly 'everybody', Fran," he says.
"Oh, you just don't understand, Dad?" Fran is angry. "I guess you're thinking it was just a female overreaction, huh?"
"No, Fran," her Dad tries to respond. "Maybe I just don’t understand the situation–like you say, but it just doesn’t sound like he was that tough on you."
In frustration, Fran replies, "Oh, forget it; I shouldn’t have bothered you with it. You just don’t understand."
Oh, dear, this conversation is going downhill fast.
"Okay, I want to be understanding, but I'm just not sure what Mr. LaFevre said that upset you so much. Maybe you just had to be there or something."
Tears start down Fran's face. "Dad, don't you understand, he said I didn't do a thorough job and...and..."
"And you always do a thorough job," her Dad says quietly. "Yeah, I'm beginning to get it." He puts his arm around her. "Do you want me to pray about this for you?"
Fran knows prayer is long overdue, but on the other hand, she doesn't want to give up her pity party! However, she hesitatingly says, "Yeah, please pray."
As she listens to her Dad’s prayer, Fran's defenses start to break down. "Fran," she hears the voice of Jesus, "truth sometimes hurts, but remember, truth sets you free." Jesus has told her that before, but once again she needs to be reminded that facing the truth, painful as it may be, is always the best way to go.
After her Dad finishes, Fran prays, "Dear Jesus, I hate to admit it, but I'm wrong. I overreacted again–it's one of my worst weaknesses and I don't think I'll ever get control of it. Please forgive me. Mr. LaFevre had every right to say what he did and I just blew it out of proportion."
She finds it difficult to continue; Jesus whispers in her ear, "I understand; you don't have to say any more."
"Thank you for understanding me even when I don't understand myself," she says as she finishes her prayer.
Fran looks at her Dad. "I can't imagine why you and Mom put up with a mess like me," she says.
"And I can't imagine anyone I’d rather put up with," he says with a squeeze.
"Do you think I'll ever learn not to overreact, Dad?" she asks. "I mean, I’ve done it all my life, haven’t I? In retrospect I can see how silly it was of me to read so much into Mr. LaFevre's comments."
"Well, I think you delight the Lord because you're always honest and real with Him, Fran, and you come around fast," he says. "I've never known anyone as honest with herself as you are."
"Really?" Fran is surprised. "Hmm...I never thought about it that way."
"And I think that company is really blessed to have you on their team," he says.
"Oh, Dad, you’re a little prejudiced, aren’t you?" Fran asks as he wipes a few tears off her cheeks.
Proverbs tells us that, A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult (Proverbs 12:16). Learning not to overreact is a challenge for many of us
Having recognized the error of her way, she has apologized to her Dad for overreacting with him, and she has come to understand that the comment which upset her so much was not as rude and unprofessional as she had made it out to be.
As she talks with her mom and dad about it this evening, she says, "I think some of it is just the difference between men and women, don't you?"
"What do you mean?" her mom doesn't quite get it.
"Well," Fran answers, "we women tend to be more subtle and careful about the words we choose because we know how easily our feelings can be hurt. I think men tend to simply state facts and let the chips fall where they may, so to speak. Therefore, what Mr. LaFevre said about me not doing a complete job really hurt my feelings, but Dad, you saw it as a simple directive–something to be expected. Tell the truth, would it have affected you the way it affected me?"
Her dad thinks about it a minute. "Well, it sure makes us men sound terribly insensitive, but I have to admit, I couldn't see why you were that upset over it. I mean–it's just a business decision; it goes with the territory."
Fran starts to laugh. "Isn't it crazy how differently we see things," she comments. "His comment hurt my feelings so badly; I took it very personally, but you heard it as just a simple business decision. God made us quite different, didn't He?"
"Vive la difference!" her Dad says with a twinkle in his eyes.
Fran laughs. "Don't you think it would have been easier if he'd made us both think the same way?"
"Are you criticizing God's design?" her mom asks. "I’m glad your dad is different from me. It keeps us from being bored! Besides, we need each other."
"Yeah?" Fran asks, smiling at her parents.
"Yeah; your dad needs my perspective on things and I need his. That way we have the best of both worlds," her mom philosophizes.
"I agree with that," Fran says. "Well, it’s sure worked well for you two. How many years have you been married?
"Forty-two–but who’s counting," her dad laughs.
Proverbs 16:20 tells us, Whoever gives heed to instruction prospers, and blessed is he who trusts in the Lord. Fran has learned again the difficult lesson of not overreacting. But she was willing to listen to the Lord's instruction, even though it took her awhile, and therefore she will prosper, as Solomon wrote.
You can see why Fran overreacted to her client's remarks. He challenged her in the one area where Fran felt she excelled–her attention to details and her competence at doing her job. You see, Fran has done very well in her company because of these good qualities, and subtly, without realizing it, she had started to take some pride in herself for her achievements.
Pride is such a deceitful snare. It sneaks up on you while you're not looking. The very gifts God gives us can become points of pride in our lives, when we begin to think we've done something ourselves. And so, this somewhat painful meeting Fran had with her client, where he informed her he wasn't satisfied with the latest proposal she made, punctured that pride and the poison came oozing out.
But, as humbling as it was, it was a very good lesson because Fran was able to see it for herself and recognize her pride before it got too far out of hand. Pride does indeed precede downfalls, but as downfalls go, this was a rather mild one. Yet it offered Fran an opportunity to learn a valuable lesson.
Not only did she have to face the pride that was there, but also she again saw her tendency to overreact. Before she prayed about it or sought anyone's advice, she allowed herself to become very angry at her client's comments and accuse him of being unprofessional. A good rule of thumb is to make yourself pray about a painful or upsetting situation before you talk to anyone else about it. Had she done that–slept on it, so to speak–she could have saved herself some embarrassment. I know how she feels, for I've been there and done that.
Maybe you too need to learn to control your reactions. If you find yourself speaking hastily when you're upset, start praying that God will help you not to overreact. Frankly, I've been praying for that for myself for years and though I'm not there yet, I've made some progress in the right direction.
