Dealing With Foolish People
Thursday, November 11th, 2010The audio portion of this broadcast is no longer available on-line.
|
Printer-friendly version
Send to friendThe Bible tells us not to call anyone a fool, but it clearly describes foolish behavior and warns us about it.
Some people behave foolishly on a sporadic basis; others are consistently foolish. As we talk about foolish people, we need to be aware that we could be talking about ourselves as well. None of us is exempt from any of these foolish characteristics. I spent ten years doing my own thing, walking away from my commitment to Jesus Christ, and I shake my head in shame as I think of how foolishly I behaved in those years.
We will look to God’s Word to define foolish behavior for us, and look again to tell us what our responsibility is when we deal with that kind of person. Please be aware that not all foolish people have all of these characteristics. You may know foolish people with only one of these traits, but it is so pronounced, that it consumes them.
What is foolish behavior?
Denying, disregarding, or rebelling against God
The fool says in his heart “There is no God” (Psalm 14:1).
It is very foolish to ignore the living God. In fact, nothing could be more foolish. And this applies not only to those who are outright atheists or agnostics, but also to those who live as though there is no God. If you asked them, many would say, ″Oh, sure I believe there is a God.″ But nothing in their life or lifestyle shows any acknowledgement of God. They live as though God does not exist.
Slandering, lying, deceiving
He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool
(Proverbs 10:18).
Foolish people don’t hesitate to lie. They are big on running other people down. Their mouths get them into trouble often.
Just think of the foolish people you know. Isn’t their mouth one of their biggest problems? Well, when our mouths are out of control, we, too, are foolish.
Quick-Tempered
A fool is quick-tempered, but a wise person stays calm when insulted (Proverbs12:16).
It is foolish behavior to lose your temper. A foolish person will say and do all kinds of foolish things because of his/her temper. Their temper is often notorious.
Acts impetuously and without regard for consequences
Wise people think before they act; fools don’t and even brag about it! (Proverbs 13:16).
A wise man fears the Lord and shuns evil, but a fool is hotheaded and reckless.
(Proverbs 14:16).
Do you know someone who does or says whatever pops into their head, without any regard for how it affects their future, other people, their pocketbook, etc.? Foolish people have no regard for consequences; they live totally for the pleasure of the moment. And they brag about it!
Talks endlessly, brags, spouts off frequently
The wise person makes learning a joy; fools spout only foolishness (Proverbs 15:2).
A fool finds no pleasure in understanding but delights in airing his own opinions
(Proverbs 18:2).
It is foolish to talk endlessly. Proverbs 10:19 reminds us that “When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise.” Jesus warned us that “men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken” (Matthew 12:36).
Foolish people have an opinion on anything and everything. They have very little knowledge, but they always have an opinion. And of course, they are very vocal about their opinion with little regard for anyone else’s opinion.
Refuses advice, accountability and/or discipline
A fool spurns his father’s discipline, but whoever heeds correction shows prudence
(Proverbs 15:5).
A fool never accepts advice or correction of any kind. They are unteachable. And they refuse needed disciplines in their lives. Disciplines like being on time, fulfilling their promises, being accountable for their actions, being dependable, following through and following up.
Well, these are not very complimentary descriptions, are they? If you have some foolish people in your life, ask God to help you respond appropriately.
The Bible has a lot more to say about foolish behavior. For example, they handle money recklessly, they quarrel frequently and pick fights, they tend to be lazy and lack focus and ambition. And sadly, they never seem to learn from past experience. Proverbs 27:22 says, “You cannot separate fools from their foolishness, even though you grind them like grain with mortar and pestle.”
With all the trouble they bring on themselves, fools still never seem to learn. No matter how bad the consequences of their behavior, they repeat the same things over and over. The Bible also tells us about the consequences and effects of foolish behavior on other people. A foolish person brings trouble on his family (Proverbs 11:29), and parents of a foolish child are in for heartache. Proverbs 10:1 says:
A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son grief to his mother.
Also, a foolish person on the job can wreak havoc. Proverbs 26:10 says:
Like an archer who wounds at random is he who hires a fool or any passer-by.
There’s no doubt that foolish people cause problems and present unique challenges for us. Whether we work with or for someone who behaves foolishly, or we have a family member or friend who fits that description, they can cause us many hours of pain and confusion and anger and frustration.
I want to urge you to think of the people in your life that demonstrate some of these foolish characteristics, perhaps write their names down, and then begin to pray for them. Remember, no one is in your life by accident, and God has a purpose for allowing that person in your life. Your challenge is to see the big picture from God’s eyes and know how to respond in a godly way.
Now the important issue we must consider is how are we supposed to respond to these foolish people? Our normal response is anger and frustration. But what does God want us to do. Let’s see what the Bible says.
How are we to respond to foolish behavior?
- First and most importantly, we pray for them. God is able to change anybody. Don’t ever give up. You can’t change them but you can pray for God to change them.
- Second, we must keep the right attitude and motivation toward these foolish people. It’s easy to become judgmental and arrogant toward them. Remember, God loves them as much as He loves you.
- Third, be prepared to set boundaries and protect yourself from being harmed by foolish people.
Now, here are some scriptures that give us further guidance on how God wants us to respond to the foolish people in our lives.
Principle #1 – Don’t try to change them with advice.
Don’t waste your breath on fools, for they will despise the wisest advice.
(Proverbs 23:9)
You may present the most logical, clear, helpful presentation of the right thing they should do,
but they will not have ears to hear. If you keep trying to offer your advice, to persuade them with words, you will be continually frustrated.
Principle #2 – Don’t give them honor or luxury.
It is not fitting for a fool to live in luxuryhow much worse for a slave to rule over princes! (Proverbs 19:10)
Like snow in summer or rain in harvest, honor is not fitting for a fool. (Proverbs 26:1)
Foolish people are easily spoiled and generally have no regard for taking care of possessions. They can ruin a car, a home, clothes with no shame or concern. Giving them things will not solve their problems, though they want to get anything they can. They will ask for and expect gifts.
To give them undeserved honor of any kind is neither smart nor helpful. To give them places of honor is to invite trouble. They don’t know how to handle honor or responsibility.
Principle #3 – Don’t argue with foolish people.
Don’t have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. (2 Timothy 2:23-24)
You will be tempted to argue with a foolish person. All your emotions will lead you in that direction. They bring out the worst in us, so you need to pray much for patience and self-control. If you allow them to drag you into an argument, they have brought you down to their level, and you will never win that argument. You will just end up in great frustration.
Principle #4 – Protect yourself from the resentment and anger caused by foolish people.
A stone is heavy and sand is weighty, but the resentment caused by a fool is heavier than both. (Proverbs 27:3)
In her book, Foolproofing Your Life, my friend, Jan Silvious gives good advice about setting boundaries for the foolish people in your life. She says think of living in a castle, with a moat around it and a drawbridge over that moat. When you see that foolish person coming at you, think of pulling up that drawbridge. It may be a mental drawbridge, or actually putting some space between you, but learn to set those boundaries.
Yes, you have responsibilities toward some foolish people. Yes, you must interact with some foolish people. Yes, you can’t avoid all foolish people. But it is your responsibility to protect yourself from their words, their actions, their accusations, their behavior. As Jan puts it, you may have to feed them, but use a long spoon.
There is a lot we can learn from scripture on how to deal with foolish people.
