As written and presented by Mary Whelchel

PROGRAM D-6054

I want to talk about a common mistake single men make as they relate to us women, and here it is:

Men are too visually oriented and don't give themselves a chance to know a woman who doesn't meet their visual ideal. It seems to be a physiological fact that men respond to visual stimuli much more than women, and women respond to verbal stimuli more than men. That has given rise to the notion that a woman can be 'sweet-talked' into anything, and sometimes that's true. But it's also true that an over-emphasis on visual input has many dangers.

I have discovered that many men have a stronger idea of what they want in the physical appearance of a woman than they do of what they want in her character or personality. I have a dear friend, Rick, who is now happily married to another good friend, and I had the joy of introducing them. But when Rick and I were first friends, he was a good-looking single man in his early thirties. During those years, we shared many conversations about what he would like to have in a woman.

One of the first things he told me was he really preferred a brunette over a blonde. Well, I'm certain he's sorry he ever told me that, for I teased him many times about wanting to introduce him to a terrific woman, but unfortunately she was blonde!

But because Rick was very serious about his relationship with Jesus Christ, his attitude changed in that regard. He began to recognize the unfairness of holding such artificial qualifications for a future mate and the lack of trust that demonstrated in God. Before he met Danielle, he was more than willing to marry a blonde if that's what God had in mind! (P.S. - Danielle is a gorgeous brunette!)

For some men, it's shape or size that is most important. For others it's hair or skin. But most men, if honest, would admit that they really place a high importance on some aspect of the physical appearance of a woman.

While I'm not proposing that men should miraculously change their physiological makeup and dismiss appearance as a non-essential, I am suggesting that this tendency can get out of hand easily, and a Christian man needs to check it out. 'Looks don't last, cookin' do,' the old adage goes, and there's something there to think about.

As a single woman, Mary is familiar with the pitfalls that ensnare single Christians. In her book Common Mistakes Singles Make she understands and offers non-compromising, biblical solutions for singles. This week she is offering the book at a special price of $5. Call the ministry at 1-800-292-1218 or go online to www.christianworkingwoman.org to order.

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