Common Mistakes Singles Make

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COMMON MISTAKES SINGLES MAKE
From the book by the same title
Written by Mary Whelchel
 
Mistake: We think marriage is the only normal lifestyle and it will solve all our problems.
There are some dangers in allowing ourselves to think that marriage is the only normal lifestyle, and it will solve all our problems.
 
  1. You place an unduly heavy responsibility and expectation on marriage, which it will not be able to live up to.
 
  1. You’re asking too much of that other person who will be your mate, if and when you do marry.
 
  1. When a person is consumed with the desire to be married, they usually become less and less attractive because they are unconsciously transmitting that message through body language, facial expressions, conversation, etc.
 
But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well (Matthew 6:33).
 
Mistake: We choose our mates foolishly.
At what point in your life are you truly eligible for marriage? Some typical guidelines would be:
 
  • After your education is completed
  • After you have established some financial stability and have lived independently for at least a year
  • After you have pursued some of your dreams that likely won’t be possible once you’re married
 
Determine that you will not develop intimate, close relationships with the opposite sex until you are at or near that “matable” time.
 
Mate Criteria
Every single person would be well-served to determine his or her mate criteria before the mating season begins. Here are some Bible-based suggestions to give you a start:
 
  • Women should look for a man who has the potential of being the spiritual head of your home.
Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior (Ephesians 5:22-23).
 
  • Look for a man who will love you just as Christ loved the church.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her (Ephesians 5:25).
 
  • For men, you need a woman who is more interested in being godly than being glamorous.
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight (1 Peter 3:3 - 4).
 
  • You need to consider what kind of parent this potential mate might be.
  • Strong consideration should be given to the background of that potential mate.
  • Will this potential mate be a good provider?

 

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